Home From War

Daymare demons spiral your head.
There is no rest in your soft bed.
Images of death reveal.
The guilt you hide, but will always feel.
A war of shadows.
Where you once fought.
In sandy back lots where children play
For only it was only peace you wished and sought.
The grass green hills of your childhood remain.
But there, there was no death or dismay

Wife and kids you greet at the garden gate.
They don't see your inner hate.
They don't see your embroiled conscience,
or know the infliction you bare.
They're only too happy to have you home.
Home to love and share.
You are a soldier home.
A soldier home from a war,
Trying your guilt to hide.
Trying to forget the child you shot, that died.

The war was someone else's.
Why should you really care?
It only really strikes home,
when you see a child dying there.
Visions cloud your mind of voices in despair.
Why did he have to die so young?
Why did his mother's have to mourn?
Soldier from another land, please tell us why?
The soldier's forehead frowns.
The answer he can not give.
He was only sent there.
So others have a chance to live.

Now his war is over.
Over in his home he now resides.
But the voices of despair.
Still ring in his head.
He cries to himself in silence.
How can his conscience bare.
The purgatory it must go through.
Knowing he killed a child fair.

Cracked Lungs

i love how the thunder cracks
and rips apart my eardrums
as i stand out in the rain
trying to be hit by a lightning bolt
to see if it warms my heart any

its numb for being frozen
and the rain that seeps
through my skin
trickles in pattern
like a teardrop

and i swear
if i gave you my heart
it would drop twenty more degrees
and shatter on the floor

and my paralyzed fingers
would pick up the pieces
and the jagged edges
would cut my fingertips
and i would bleed on my heart

every beat is slower
with paralyzing poison
pumping through my veins
and arteries
right atrium
and ventricle
poisoning them
suffocating them

and in the end
i'll still be out here in the rain
waiting for the lightening bolt to strike
breathing through cracked lungs......

In My Rain

Have you stood in the porcelain

Showered in the cold ice of pain
If you have
My friend
You have stood in my Rain

Staring into the night
The deathly feelings of loneliness
Cowering by your side

Don't feel so empty
Don't feel ashamed
Just step next to me
I've been there before

Looking in the cold white complexion
Not wanting to feel it anymore

Plying open your chest
You see the two beating halves
Mind staring into the cold dark past

Twisted smile creeps around your lips
Visions of harpsichord suicides encompass your thoughts

Why don't I do it tonight
Make it quick
Make it easy
No one will miss me
Come stand next to me
Don't worry
It will all go away

Close your chest
Back away
Learn to love another day

Shut your eyes
Take a breath
Just put this in the back of your mind

Just take a deep breath
Soon you will find

Those lingering clouds will soon part
The thing you feared
New love
Will mend your heart

Those thoughts in your head
Deep and dark as they are
Will soon disappear

That once far off person
Who once believed in themselves
Will soon re-appear

One day you will be able to say
Come stand with me
For you stand in my Rain

Sincerely, Scorned

Dear My Love,

I was faithful to you
Even though I shivered in the darkness
Played with fire
Pined for desire

Disaster came
And struck my soul
To return a favor
Brittle and cold

I was your best console
For I ate your poison
Diseased and trapped
Eerie voices

Abused and dismantled
Your honesty's wrath
Has landed your happiness
Derived in your past

Foolish endeavors
Explains the heart
I cried on your shoulder
Alone in the dark

A soul is enchained
For your love is vain
A broken sparrow
Alone in the rain

Cloudy days of sight
I no longer see the light
Far beyond a pointless needle
A night of endless cries

Below a stature of fumes
An abyss is formed
A sniff of mutilation

Sincerely,
Scorned

Just Stop Sending Me Angels

I closed my distant eyes

And raised my hands in prayer

I wanted to feel Heaven

Animate my mortal soul

You dropped glimpses…

Heaven’s broken essence

I bandaged their wings

Till they flew home…

So as you drop

Your damaged baggage

Just be aware

I’m not reaching for Heaven

Anymore

I Thought I Saw Judas Steal A Kiss From Lucifer

And I wandered into
The whites of the walls
That only got closer
That shut myself off
Away from this ugly world
Who never could
Forgive me anyway

I thought I saw Judas
Steal a kiss from Lucifer
Who just sat there smiling at me
As I begged and pleaded
For a bed of roses to
Lay my body to rest
But once again I was denied
As my pain set in
I realized that
Even the empty holes of my heart
Could never mend back together

And it was then that I saw
A thousand laughing faces
Laughing at nothing but unison
Of a worthless kiss that I
Received tonight from a betrayal
Never forgiven of me

Seduction was in reach for me
But I was denied it's envy
A woman of my word
Because that is the only thing
That I will ever let go of
Of which is an honesty so real that
It paralyzed you
As soon as you touched it

Tie A Noose Around My Neck And I Will Hang From The Pleasantries

The stars burn out

In the pale blue sky

While I sing drunken

Helplessly waiting

For the sun to rise

Eloquent breath shall take flight

Through the strictest silence

Where no sound may be

Like a lonely mango-bird

Over restless seas

(So e’eryone may hear)

The swift and lovely dreams

Which travel the waves of slumber

Occupied by thoughts of “now” and “then”

Are meant to carry me to You

Whether they shine or overcast in gloom

Flowers fall, tossed in the breeze

And I swore the river ceased to flow

This essence passes not for a minute

But into every night of sleep

Where are souls bound so fast

And we watched spring unfold from our pillows.

Slipping On Eyelashes

There are these times

When everything slows

And the world comes into focus

So vivid and crisp

And as I reach out I blink

And it all becomes

Just as it was before

And my hand drops as I sigh

Turning inward once more

Finding comfortable shadows

Closing eyes now distorted

With tears for a tomorrow

That has lost all clarity

Compassion Killed Rhapsody

There’s sadness behind these eyes

Mottled hue of anger and remorse

And I can’t find the room to breath

If I some how change the lines of my prose

I’d sprawl back through infinity

Ravish the euphoria of being truly, completely

Weightless

Murder ignorance’s smile and break these brittle fingers

Whisper rapine vulgarities in the face of my damask lie

Brush lips with vanity and arrogance-hear sweet nothing

In my ears, white.static.noise

Confound glory and worship retribution and coin the term

And call it God

But I’m lost in this sonata of emotion-

Kiss.kill.scared.of.nothing

Floating mercurial, fey as moon dust and

Wishing I could move

I’m caught between farewells and

Twisted lust to

Break.you.down

But I know you’ll never show your pain

I mean hell, you never showed you cared either

Ever Still, Ever Dark

I think I've forgotten
How the feel of warmth
Feels with this ice
Overtaking me

I am but a buoy
Miles away from shore
And the yellow-white
Beams of the lighthouse
Fall so short
so far from me

Black are my eyes
Cold is my heart
Purple, my lips
And sore, my soul

My cheeks
Were the fancy
Of Mr. Frost
They sting now
From Jack's kisses

And tears no longer
Make their way
To the bottom
Of my stone face

Because there's no hope left to cry for

Cigarette

He says,

“We’ve got to have a talk”

So I light a cigarette

A dirty little

Nervous habit

He says

“It has been beautiful”

And I smile

Because I am an idiot

And run my tongue across

The filter tip

Of my cigarette

He says

Something about life’s paths

Something philosophical

Something that reeks of such bullshit

I can’t look him in the eye

So I look instead

At the glowing red tip

Of my cigarette

The tiny red tongue

That licks circles around

The fragile, skin-like paper

Leaving soft gray ash

In its scorched wake

The ash is like old lace

It’s pretty

I think irrelevantly

And he is still talking

And my cigarette

Is still burning down

He says

“Things change,

You’ve changed,

I’ve changed.”

And I take a gulping drag

And choke

On the bitter, acrid smoke

As though it were my first time

He is still talking

About life’s paths

(At least, he thinks

I think he is)

While I contemplate

My cigarette’s

Scorching red tip

And violence

Which is never the answer

(What was the question again?)

He says

“Do you know what I mean?”

So I nod

And he looks so relieved

So relieved

My hand moves then, and

The pretty, pretty soft gray ash

Lands on the floor

My cigarette’s

Tiny red swirling tongue

Looks vicious now

And keeps moving downward

He says

“It has been beautiful

and I will always…”

But my cigarette

Has reached

The end of its patience

Heartstrings

It's becoming more evident
Much more obvious to me
I thought much more of you
Than you ever thought of me

Was this my biggest mistake
Letting myself think you cared
Was I just your marionette
With heartstrings open and bared

With me left here still thinking
What was false, what was true
So puzzling and so complex
I’m left to await another clue

On my heartstings you played
Each left with a loving memory
Yet I still have those questions
Do you ever think about me

I’m wondering why all the intrigue
Now why all of this mystery
Why am I left here hanging
Your the one that holds the key.

Mudshovels

Eve’s Hollow calling me back home

Before it’s too late to recognize that

I wish I could die before the dawn

Breaks yet another wasted

Breath away on me again

I wish the skies would rain down

On me again just so they would

Take away the pain of the

Pictures that live in between the

Multitude of colors that love to echo

Outward through the rainbows

That use to hold me close

So close; so damn close

I almost came to know what

It was like to feel again today;

But I choose to look the other way

Before the same old clouds decomposed

The solitude that prayed I’d

Stick around here like glue for

Just a little longer

Falling down on mudshovels

Closing  in on me making my

Own grave come alive again;

I cant help but sing; sing

Out loud to the wind that carried me

Back home to where I belong forever;

To rest on Halos empty smiles digging

Me yet another happy place to stay

Forever silent; while you watch another star

Fall from grace just like me

Poetic Masterbation

My mind switch

Goes on

And again

Without any…

Provocation

…God I just want him to pull my arms again

Back over my head

And run the side of his skin

Up and around

Inside

My

Heart…

As it rips

With periodic beats of self mutilation

Or is it self preservation

With the absence of

His lips

Sliding summer heat

Around my neck

While his breath

Shakes its way into

Suddenly

Gone

Tell me how much more

Can one soul

With all my thoughts of…

Left alone

Make sense

Of this blood rushing

Life consuming

Emptiness

Existing Madness Expanded

Existing on a plane of insanity

I rabidly but rapidly let go of my humanity

The cannibalistic nature of my writing utensil devours the page

Bleeding out incessant knowledge as if I were a sage

Frustration, aggravation matters not to my location

Obligation, violations only blatant confrontation

I scribble, then I scratch, then I claw through the paper

The destruction of a sheet not stronger than a wafer

I frantically embark on a journey through the words

Shockwaves can be heard from the sands to the birds

Increasing in intensity, the notebook burns

Hurricanes now surge these volcanic terms

Explosions now blinding, I’m too mad to think

That this whole entire time…

My pen had no ink…

Assuming Makes An Ass Of You

Not quite exactly evidenced based

But make no mistake

I’ll be right up in your face

Until you’re counting the pores on my skin

It’s just my passionately-fueled

Intention

It’s meaningful

And rock fucking solid

And did I mention

That I think I’m right

Meanwhile

I’ll count the moment spent waiting

For your head buried in the sand

Response…

Not quite prepared enough

To be swallowing my pride

Followed by a delicate foot

Like sand scratching its way

Past my overworked windpipe

See the proof of my accuracy

Has been mauled

Once again

By my stupidity

Deep fried insecurity

I should learn how to keep my fucking mouth shut

Butterflies And Broken Bones

And I am sad that

The truth is the truth

And I can’t sugar coat

And toss it in rainbows

And make it less hurtful

Like the blow will

Purge itself and flutter

Away

And I am laden with lies

Like you

And everyone

But when the words cut you

And there’s nothing to say

I can hide

In the back of your throat

And scream until you

Flush the spoils

From your veins

And the tiles look less

Of white and more of

Vermillion satin

Water colored

Anguish

And I can paint with you

And fill the voids with

Cotton because

It’s better to bandage

The wounds and walk

Away

And you will heal

And I will leave you

Dwelling like an

Animal in t he dead of winter